Monday, August 14, 2017

'Twas the Night Before Harbsmas

A good friend of mine in New Jersey (he's also the president of their local University of Michigan alumni club) has been writing up a parody of The Night Before Christmas for each of Harbaugh's seasons at U of M.  Here is this year's version - I can't wait for the season!  Go Blue!

'Twas the Night Before Harbsmas
Nick Kahn

‘Twas the night before Harbsmas and all through the Big House
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.
The trucks they were packing for Texas with glee
As they readied for the start of Harbaugh’s year three.

The first two years each had double-digit wins,
But three losses each would make Michigan fans cringe.
We’re hoping for better! May new records be set
In this year of U-M’s 200th birthday fĂȘte!

We lost a great deal of talent from last season,
But new starters and freshmen give our fans great reason
To prove to the nation, “We’re great! You’re all wrong!”
And to point fingers back at the Grinch (Paul Finebaum)!

Then out on the practice field there arose such a clamor.
Was Jim yelling his mouth off at his QB and center?
Away from the scrimmage, wideouts ran like a flash,
While the o-linemen blocked for a 20-yard dash.

With ironed, pleated khakis so comfy and slim,
I knew in an instant it must be St. Jim.
More vicious than Buckeyes his Wolverines they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name!

“Now Hurst! Now Gary! McDoom, Speight, and Evans!
Now Hill! Now Cole! Now Winovich! Higdon!
To the top of the Big Ten! To the top of the polls!
Now sack away! Score away! Touchdown! Field goal!”

In the past two autumns expectations were high,
We’d start out all grinning but end with a sigh.
But this year in the Big House, we’ll bring passion so true,
With hope that these foes fear the wrath of maize and blue:

The Florida Gators are opponents with bite,
May the Wolverines beat them underneath Texas lights!
The Cincinnati Bearcats, Falcons of Air Force,
We play them in Ann Arbor. We’ll beat them, of course!

Our conference slate starts with a trip to Purdue,
Where our boys will destroy them! A shutout will do!
We then return home to meet the Spartans from East Lansing,
We’ll win by so much! The fans will be dancing!

Then back on the road to Indiana and Penn State,
They may play half decent, but our Wolves will be great!
At home, we’ll play Rutgers and the Gophers of Gold,
Our frightening defense will turn their hearts cold.

We take two straight trips to Maryland and Madison,
They may have high hopes. Our maize and blue boys will flatten ‘em!
Then the Buckeyes await. We’ll win by a lot.
(Assuming the refs will give us a fair spot!)

Then we’ll fly out to Indy for the conference title clash,
We’ll take home the crown if our boys come out brash.
A New Year’s Day Bowl or playoff may await,
But ultimately, we control our own fate.

May the season be fantastic, as we shake off this rust,
Rise up off your seat! In Harbaugh we trust!
We’ll sing rounds of “The Victors” as our boys hit the banner,
Ring cowbells when we score, whatever the manner.

St. Jim sprang to his feet, to his team gave a screaming,
“Football season is here! Start the championship dreaming!”
But I heard him exclaim on his Dallas-bound flight,
“Merry Harbsmas to all! Let’s beat Florida tomorrow night!”

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